The Abused ( Part IV )

The views on the the last blog post was a blast , courtesy my readers and all those kind enough to share it .


Anyways without further ado , let’s get straight to the story.

I got pregnant at 15. I had already started seeing my menstrual flow and I was being exploited without protection. I was just a teenager and I was already knocked up; Pregnant.
But before this, I had developed Stockholm Syndrome. This is a situation were the abused develops feelings for their abuser. But it’s not real. It’s just a coping mechanism for your brain. A mechanism were the villan becomes the hero, and the devil becomes a god.
It’s this same mechanism that will make the brain recieve signals from the nerve endings that a man is hot and sweating and he needs to take his clothes off, whereas, he is freezing to his death. And in his delusion that he is hot and sweating, he takes off his clothes instead of looking for warmer ones. And he freezes like Jack in the epic Titanic.
That, was my case.
So abused had I been by Danjuma that my poor brain decided to love him. Delusion. Some nights, I’d stay awake and wonder how something so fake could feel so real. Too real.
Six years of abuse and I had ‘fallen so deep in love’ with my abuser that I could walk into fire for and with him. I became so dependent on him. I couldn’t do anything without him. Every touch, every caress, every word meant so much to me. Even his hits and punches.
He told me he loved me. He proved it. And when I’d misbehave, he’d correct me. So many things tried to put us apart but he stopped it.
Nothing could come between us. Not even the child I had carried. Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.


Although child abuse occurs in Nigeria, it has received little attention. This is probably due to the emphasis placed on the more prevalent childhood problems of malnutrition and infection. Another possible reason is the general assumption that in every African society the extended family system always provides love, care and protection to all children. Yet there are traditional child rearing practices which adversely affect some children, such as purposeful neglect or abandonment of severely handicapped children, and twins or triplets in some rural areas. With the alteration of society by rapid socioeconomic and political changes, various forms of child abuse have been identified, particularly in the urban areas. These may be considered the outcome of abnormal interactions of the child, parents/ guardians and society. They include abandonment of normal infants by unmarried or very poor mothers in cities, increased child labour and exploitation of children from rural areas in urban elite families, and abuse of children in urban nuclear families by childminders . Preventive measures include provision of infrastructural facilities and employment opportunities in the rural areas in order to prevent drift of the young population to the cities. This would sustain the supportive role of the extended family system which is rapidly being eroded. There is need for more effective legal protection for the handicapped child, and greater awareness of the existence of child abuse in the community by health and social workers.

Child sexual abuse in Nigeria is an offence under several sections of chapter 21 of the country’s criminal code. The age of consent is 18.

UNICEF reported in 2015 that one in four girls and one in ten boys in Nigeria had experienced sexual violence before the age of 18. According to a survey by Positive Action for Treatment Access, over 31.4 percent of girls there said that their first sexual encounter had been rape or forced sex of some kind.

The Centre for Environment, Human Rights and Development reported that 1,200 girls had been raped in 2012 in Rivers, a coastal state in southeastern Nigeria.

According to UNICEF, six out of ten children in Nigeria experience emotional, physical or sexual abuse before the age of 18, with half experiencing physical violence.


That’s on that for this blog post.

You can hit the follow button at the bottom of the page to get latest blog posts .

For more you can always check on my blog from time to time ..And Charity and I would be available if you need to contact us.
Feel free to contact me ,

And Chide Charity ,


© Jennifer Sanni.2020.
No part of this publication may be used without legal authorization from the author.

  1.  “Chapter 21: Offences against morality”, Criminal Code Act, Chapter 77, Laws of the Federation of Nigeria 1990. Retrieved 2 April 2016.
  2. ^ “Rising cases of rapes”Vanguard Newspaper. 17 January 2014.
  3. ^ Ben Ezeamalu, “Fact check: Nigeria’s Sexual Offences Bill stipulates 18 years, not 11 years, as age of consent”Premium Times, 30 June 2015.
  4. a b “Release of the findings of the Nigeria Violence Against Children Survey”, UNICEF Nigeria, 10 September 2015.
  5. a b Is’haq Modibbo Kawu (23 May 2013). “Nigeria’s troubling epidemic of rapes”Vanguard.


The Abused – (Part III ).

Hey There, for the past two months I’ve been on this particular topic i.e Abuse.

I’m sure you had enough of the suspense . Honestly I’m glad to be working with such an amazing writer .

It’s been a very Amazing journey with has taught me alot .



Mom, you never fancied the idea of a female help. That’s why we never had one. You told me yourself that you felt they’d take your husband away from you. Unpopular opinion, a man that is faithful and Loyal, will be faithful and loyal to his woman, irrespective of what happens. You cannot determine your life’s outcome by the life’s outcome of others. Just because Aunty Laide’w husband cheated on her with their house help didn’t mean yours would have. I understand that not bringing any female to work for you was your own protective measure. And I applaud you for that. But it didn’t stop Daddy from cheating. A man that is faithful, will be faithful no matter what. I don’t believe in anything that we’re fed with in the name of he didn’t have any choice. He had a choice. To cheat or not to cheat. And he cheated! He chose to cheat!
It was this same choice that led Abu to molest me! He broke my hymen. You’re a smart woman Mommy. You know what I am talking about. How’d you expect an entitled teenager to bathe your developing nine year old?!
For crying out loud you were always at home! You worked from home till when I turned fifteen and you started working out. Nothing, absolutely nothing stopped you from performing your duties by me!
Forgive my language but it is necessary for the conveying of my intended message to you.

I started exploring the opposite sex at nine and half. Six more months to my birthday and your houseboy comes to “bathe” me as usual. And you know, he hurt me in the name of washing me. I was in pain almost every day of my little life. No one should be allowed to go through that! No one! Not even him, as stupid as it sounds. No one. Abuse scars you Mama. Permanently.
Anyways, back to my story. On the 19th of March, your houseboy takes me for a surprise early bathe. And he and asks me to open my mouth. You should know what happens next. I have always been forced to obey because you, Mom gave him permission to beat me when I “misbehaved”
You always felt whatever reason he beat me for was justified cause you believed me stubborn. You hadn’t even the slightest idea of the child you birthed. It was this authority you gave your houseboy that gave him courage to stuff his privates in my mouth. Do you want to know how he got me to open my mouth? I’m going to tell you. In his words and I quote, he said: “I will tell your Mommy if you don’t do it. And she’s going to let me flog you.”
Just take a look at his words! Heiii! So I opened up.
Now, let me tell you the sad part.


The concept of child abuse and neglect is not relatively new to society. Although children have been neglected, beaten, exploited, and even murdered by their parents and caregivers for hundreds of years, it is only since the mid–twentieth century that legislation requiring the reporting and prosecution of child abuse has been enacted.

The United State of America , passed a Law , in 1974 Public Law 93-247, known as the Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) was passed by Congress. Under this statue, only parents or caregivers can be perpetrators of child abuse or neglect. CAPTA provides minimum standards for the definition of child abuse and neglect for states that receive federal funds, and each state is left to define more specifically what constitutes maltreatment and to develop public policy that will guide courts, law enforcement, health care, and social services in the protection and care of children who are neglected or abused.

A number of terms are used to refer to the maltreatment of children, including the following:

  • Neglect. An act of omission by a parent or care-giver that involves refusal or delay in providing health care, education, or basic needs such as food, clothes, shelter, affection, and attention. Neglect also includes inadequate supervision and abandonment.
  • Emotional abuse. An act or omission by a parent or caregiver that involves rejecting, isolating, terrorizing, ignoring, or corrupting a child. Examples include, but are not limited to, verbal abuse; withholding food, sleep, or shelter; exposing a child to domestic violence; refusing to provide psychological care; and confinement. An important component of emotional abuse is that it must be sustained and repetitive.
  • Physical abuse. An act of commission by a parent or caregiver that results in, or is likely to result in, physical harm to the child–including death. Examples include hitting, kicking, biting, shaking, burning, and punching the child. Spanking a child is usually considered a form of discipline, unless the child is bruised or injured.
  • Sexual abuse. An act of commission by an parent or caregiver of sexual intrusion or penetration, molestation with genital contact, sodomy, rape, exhibitionism, or other forms of sexual acts in which the child is used to provide sexual gratification to the perpetrator. This type of abuse can also include child pornography.

Discussions of the number of children who are abused or neglected involve the use of two terms: prevalence, which describes the number of children who have suffered from a specific type of abuse at least once in their lifetime; and incidence, which describes the number of specific cases that are reported in a given time period. Obviously, incidents of physical abuse or extreme neglect are somewhat easier to identify and report than are other types of abuse. These are the cases that most frequently appear in child welfare offices and court cases. Actual reports of sexual abuse, emotional abuse, and neglect are generally thought to be grossly under-representative of the number of children affected by abuse.

Child abuse isn’t just about black eyes. While physical abuse is shocking due to the marks it leaves, not all signs of child abuse are as obvious. Ignoring children’s needs, putting them in unsupervised, dangerous situations, exposing them to sexual situations, or making them feel worthless or stupid are also forms of child abuse and neglect—and they can leave deep, lasting scars on kids.

Regardless of the type of abuse, the result is serious emotional harm. But there is help available. If you suspect a child is suffering from abuse or neglect, it’s important to speak out. By catching the problem as early as possible, both the child and the abuser can get the help they need.


That’s on that for this blog post.

You can hit the follow button at the bottom of the page to get latest blog posts .

For more you can always check on my blog from time to time ..And Charity and I would be available if you need to contact us.
Feel free to contact me ,

And Chide Charity ,


© Jennifer Sanni.2020.
No part of this publication may be used without legal authorization from the author.


ENGLISH, DIANA J. 1998. “The Extent and Consequences of Child Maltreatment.” The Future of Children 8 (1):35–53.

FINKELHOR, DAVID. 1994. “Current Information on the Scope and Nature of Child Sexual Abuse.” The Future of Children 4 (2):31–53.

MCCROSKEY, JACQUELIN, and MEEZAN, WILLIAM. 1998. “Family-Centered Services: Approaches and Effectiveness.” The Future of Children 8 (1):54–71.

WALDFOGEL, JANE. 1998. “Rethinking the Paradigm for Child Protection.” The Future of Children 8 (1):104–119.


CHILD WELFARE LEAGUE OF AMERICA. 2001. “Creating Connected Communities: Policy, Action, Commitment.” <www.cwla.org/advocacy/nationalfactsheet01.htm>

NATIONAL CLEARINGHOUSE ON CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT INFORMATION. 2001. <www.calib.com/nccanch/pubs/factsheets/canstats.cfm>

NATIONAL INSTITUTE OF NEUROLOGICAL DISORDERS AND STROKE. 2001. “NINDS Shaken Baby Syndrome Information Page.” <www.ninds.nih.gov/health_and_medical/disorders/shakenbaby.htm>

WANG, CHING-TUNG. 1997. “Current Trends in Child Abuse Reporting and Fatalities: The Results of the 1997 Annual Fifty State Survey.” <www.join-hands.com/welfare/1997castats.html>